My life: deja vu

     Every night of going out is pretty much the same thing.  I go to my friend's house, the same kids are there, I sit around.  I'm always feeling uncomfortable, and cracking jokes in the same vein as a result.  The kids all sit around, making pleasantries amongst themselves, and I feel the odd man out.  Drink a few beers, get even more bored, even more uncomfortable.  This goes on every single time.  I would give anything for a little bit of variety.  Maybe it's my fault that this keeps happening.  I alone have the power to change it, and yet I do nothing.  I certainly try to make conversation with these people, but it seems like they are caught up in their own banality.
     The problem probably lies in my choice to only drink, and nothing more.  I can't help it if I feel much better not filling my body with poison on a daily, if not hourly, basis.  I don't know if everyone's problem is that they have such hollow, meaningless lives and as a result have to fill them with substance.  I've told them on numerous occasions that I'd always be there for them, if they ever needed someone to talk to.  Wouldn't you know it, they choose to instead interact with their fellow druggies, and leave me feeling unhallowed.

     So much for friends...